Poor Slobs Guide to Becoming a Millionaire – Luck, Don’t Count on It

Luck is that universal thing, that if were lucky we would all have it in abundance. At one time or another most of us have brushed up against it and come out on the upside. For me, my encounter with luck was meeting my beautiful wife who faithfully puts up with my weird ways and fathering a child so perfect that there is no logical reason to explain it except for luck.

The other thing that we equate luck too, is winning something of monetary gain, like a lucky pull on a one armed bandit when down to our last quarter. We also equate to luck when playing sports, dodging an accident or a deadly encounter with something that is trying to kill us. Once again, as with most things in life, these encounters will be predetermined by your economic status.

Should you be rich, your with death will probably involve someone trying to take your wealth away or that you bought something with your wealth and couldn’t figure out how to fly it or buying a car so powerful that you can not control it, and it ends up killing you.

If you’re a poor slob, then in all likelihood you will die choking on a cheap cheese burger or reaching out a little too far while cleaning out the gutters of your house because you were too cheap to pay someone to do it for you. There is a big difference between rich luck, and poor slob luck.

Poor slob luck usually involves things that have little or no monetary. Take for example the purchase of a condom. If you’re a poor slob then you probably buy one in a filthy bathroom of a bar in which you are patronizing while seeking out something to mate with, and then pray to god that the condom that you just purchased for a quarter does not break.

Being that you are poor means that following the purchase of the condom, you will seek out and settle for a mating partner that is a beast so far off the evolutionary scale of human development that it has yet to be charted. And because you are in this economically dictated situation means that you will spend as little money as possible to mate with something that looks like it just walked out of some cheaply produced Hollywood b-movie.

Following the purchase of massive quantities of over priced alcoholic beverages you will then proceed to a preferably dimly lit location where you will copulate, and then feel your cheap condom pop releasing millions of baby makers into the vagina of a creature from the black lagoon. The chances that this creature will become pregnant are high due to the fact that the reason the beast was in the bar in the first place was a matter of survival and farthing the species.

Not having money breeds stupidity. For some god forsaken reason we become stupid and lazy when we do not have money, which is easy for most people because most of us do not know what it is to have money in the first place.

What is even more depressing, is that our number one enemy, the media, does stories about the one in 20 million lucky slob who goes out, buys a lottery ticket on his way to the pharmacy to buy hemorrhoid cream and hits it big and ends up on the evening newscast standing next to lottery officials and a hot looking Miss Lottery babe, holding an over sized check for fifty million dollars. The following day, lottery ticket sales go through the roof.

Luck is out there, but more often then not, luck will not seek you out and find you. The reality is that it is you who are going to create your luck and ultimately make it work to your advantage.

So what I suggest here is that you forget about what you have learned about luck and throw away all of you good luck charms. They do not work. I’ve heard stories of first responders prying lucky charms from the fingers of dead people who tried un-successfully to beat a train to a crossing in hopes that they would make it to the kick off of their favorite football team.

Yes you do need some luck to succeed. But for the most part, you are going to create the situation that you need for anything good to happen to you. Hang out at the yacht club, and eventually you might meet a nice girl who comes from a family of substance, marry and end up rich. Hang out at Skanky Pete’s and you will probably end up with some sort of venereal disease.

Luck is luck. It is not something that can be obtained, bought or sold. It is an unknown variable that occurs rarely, such as the luck of winning the lottery or a lucky pull on a one armed bandit. Truth of the matter is that luck is nothing except random occurrences that most of the time does not happen to most of us. Sorry. That is just the way it really is. If you’re sitting around waiting for luck to cross your path, then take this book back to receive a refund. Whatever you do with your life will create a reaction. Good luck or bad, all things that happen to you unfortunately can be explained.

Some die hard believe in luck people will argue this point and say that people like Donald Trump and Bill Gates have all the luck when they know damn well that this is not the case. The fact is, like it or not, that Donald was born into money, and then he got a good education because he had good money, sought out good deals and made a lot more money. His luck was that his seaman landed inside the right vagina.

When you’re at a casino standing in front of a one armed bandit praying to god for the pay off, forget about it. Chances are your going to loose. If your walking around thinking that everything will turnout like a hard luck story movie ending, then go out pawn your wedding ring buy a gun and shoot yourself. It is a hard cruel mean world out there and those waiting and praying for luck are doomed to failure.

If you get hit by a car and lay in the street bleeding to death, probably, in most cases, someone will jump into the street, rip off there clean viking style viking polo shirts to use as a bandage, and save you. However, if you need money, and lay out in the middle of the road asking for it, then you had probably be prepared to die of exposure or getting hit by a car, because when it comes to money people are not very helpful unless you are a registered, do it by the book charity. People only care to a point, and more often then not, something better be in it for them it they are to give you money, or your are going to die waiting for a financial handout.

This brings us back to luck. In the movies, we see it all of the time. Some poor slob down on his luck living in the back seat of a car with his wife and kids comes upon a angel who shows him how being poor is the reason why the angel is going to reach down and pluck these people out of their poverty. Nice story – that never happens in real life.

write by Archibald