Bikini Tighty Whities

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What do Rachel Hunter, Carolyn Murphy, Elle Macpherson, and Rebecca Romijn have in common? Sure they’ve had their posters pinned up on a wall at some point but aside from that obvious fact, these celebrity sex goddesses love a lot of white in their wardrobe. And when the season calls for it, they could sport the tiniest, most alluring white bikinis around. Have you seen their Sports Illustrated spread last winter? On the cover they stood next to each other with nothing on except white bikini bottoms. I seriously thought that that page alone deserved to be framed. No wonder women are having a hard time picking out white swimsuits — these beach bods are certainly hard to beat in the swimsuit category. Guys set ridiculously high standards because of babes like them; they should get swimsuit licenses or something.

White garments are extremely posh and versatile. Men and women can’t seem to get enough of white. But unlike cotton tees, *classic dress shirts*, and bridal gloves, white swim wear is harder to pull off. They’re smaller and coverage is subjective so you really need a good eye — and body — to spot one. You have to be deliriously confident and blessed with a flawless body to sport anything that’s white and barely there. However, with the right cut and sufficient lining, you can dare to own a pair — or two, if you thrive purely on attention.

Support is always a matter to be considered when you’re shopping for a swimsuit. Surely, you don’t want your assets (or liabilities) to fly all over the place, do you? That kind of attention-grabbing method is completely beneath you so when you write down your shopping list, make sure you highlight support. A halter top, for example, is seductive because it shows just the right curves and accentuates the silhouette of a woman like no other cut. It also provides sufficient upper body support, especially for top-heavy women. The White Women’s Swimwear B007 from Sutra has a sassy halter top that can be adjusted to the perfect fit. Its solid bikini bottom has tie sides that cling to the waist-like melted butter on toast. If you’re not convinced that you can own a white two-piece, this number is your safest sultry indulgence.

For a slightly deviant twist from the classic white bikini, opt for fuller coverage and subtle color contrasts. Tankinis have always been a popular choice among swim wear enthusiasts but most of them still veer away from the white. Not all white swimsuits are bad, believe me. The White Swimwear with Black Buttons from Isaac Mizrahi is a stylishly bold white two-piece with black button details. The tubini top has minimal black piping accents that contours the upper half and a black neck tie ribbon that keeps it in place.

If you’re up for wilder summer fun, work it like the Brazilians do. The Coconuts Bikini from Desiree Nercessian Brazillian Swimwear is a tropical white duet. Don’t take the name literally because you surely won’t find any real coconuts on the suit. The triangle bikini top has sliding ties around the neck and at the back. Instead of actual coconuts, it is adorned with shaggy-fringed Lycra reminiscent of delicious white *coconut shavings* that will not only make your mouth water but also cause quite a stir among nearby male onlookers. The bikini bottom has a fully lined interior, side ties that rest perfectly on the hips, and minimal back coverage.

A white swimsuit is not the enemy but the wrong kind can be lethal. When picking out a white number, always check the lining. The inside is just as important as the outside when white garments are concerned. Triple lining is ideal but double would suffice. You want to look good both wet or dry and the only way to achieve that is to keep the private parts exactly that –private. If you really want to show it all off, I suggest you hit a nude beach instead and spare us the agony of your exaggerated confidence. If you’re going for tasteful and innocent, a white swimsuit with ample coverage and support is just the thing you’re looking for.


write by Olwen

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